Jetset.Ninja’s Vegas Residency

I’m just going to come out and say it – there’s no better place to stay, play, and go buck wild in Las Vegas than the Cosmopolitan! I freakin’ love that place. No, they’re not paying me a dime to say that or write this. I seriously, genuinely love the Cosmo so much that I could live there.

I first came to the Cosmo in 2015 when a friend of mine was staying there and I was down the Strip at some other property that was so insignificant I can’t even remember which one. Nah, there really are some other incredible resorts in Las Vegas and I’ve stayed in most of them. But I truly can’t remember which one I was staying at on the trip where I first checked out Cosmo. Anywho…

So my friend David was just getting out of the Marines and was in Vegas scouting for his next job move and he happened to be staying at Cosmo. I asked him to come down to my hotel and he asked me to come down to his in a classic “who’s lazier” kinda dual via text. Well, he won and I joined him at the Cosmo for some blackjack and booze. At the time I wasn’t that great at blackjack and was still learning, and the thing that surprised me most about the Cosmo after all the glitz and glam was the fact that the dealers are allowed to and usually very willing to coach virgin and near-virgin players. That’s a big deal when you’re still learning because it can be a very expensive game to learn slowly.

I was also fortunate enough for the dealer on my first time there to suggest I get a players club card, which I did on that first trip. Luckily for me – and for the Cosmo’s bottom line – I ended up loving blackjack and playing for hours and hours. I can’t remember if I even walked away with a net win that first time I played, but I must not have lost too much otherwise I probably wouldn’t have continued. So fast forward to the next time I came to Vegas a few months later, I wanted to go back to the Cosmo and play there again. Rinse and repeat this a few more times and suddenly I started getting offers in the mail to come stay there for free.

So that’s how I got hooked on the Cosmo. Playing a little blackjack, not losing my shirt, playing a little more, the comped rooms started rolling in, and BAM. Suddenly I’m going there every other month or two and shacking up there for 4 nights at a time. During those stays, I’d go through thousands and thousands of dollars of wins and losses at the blackjack tables, but thankfully I’d usually end up on top. I couldn’t stomach too many losses at that level of play, but lucky for me I got damn good at it.

So that was back in 2015 when I was just a young pup at Cosmo and at blackjack. Fast forward to today and I still love me some Cosmo and some blackjack. No matter where in the world I go, if it’s a major city I’ll look for a casino and go play some blackjack. I’ve played all around the world now but there’s still nowhere on the planet like Vegas, and there’s no place in Vegas like the Cosmo.

Aside from the gaming, the restaurants there are pretty amazing too. I’m a creature of habit, so I tend to go to the same ones over and over. But I’ve tried almost all of them at Cosmo and have never found one I didn’t like. The sushi place in there has changed at least twice in the past few years, but it’s still darn good. Expensive though. STK is a classic, although it’s quite pricey as well but such a good time. Henry’s on the ground floor is my favorite for breakfast and snacks b/c it’s always open and consistently good. I love ordering fried eggs and chicken noodle soup there, especially when I’m drunk or hungover.

But nothing gets my tongue off in the morning like Egg Slut. This orgasmic breakfast joint has the best damn egg sandwiches I’ve ever had in my life and there’s always a line down the hall and around the corner in the mornings because it’s sooooo good. But it’s SO worth the wait too. Just get in line, pull out your phone to occupy your time, and wait it out because the orgasm you’ll have in your mouth is mind-blowing.

As much as everyone knows how much I love a good dance sesh and club vibe, I actually haven’t tried out the clubs at Cosmo yet. Maybe I’ll get to that in the future. More to explore, for sure, so I’ll definitely be back soon.